this study aimed to explore the lived experiences of young individuals within the gay community in bannu, pakistan, recognizing the diverse spectrum of sexual orientations, gender identities, and religious beliefs present.
the research team comprised individuals with varied backgrounds in terms of gender, sexual orientation, and religious beliefs to ensure a multifaceted approach to data analysis. this diversity allowed for a more comprehensive understanding of the participants' experiences, particularly concerning their intersecting identities related to sexuality, gender, and religion.
methodology and participant recruitment
the research process adhered to the american psychological association's guidelines for ethical research, emphasizing collaboration with and accommodation of lgbtq+ individuals and their religious practices.
participant recruitment spanned from december to march. the research team leveraged their existing networks with trusted local figures to reach the target audience effectively. additionally, administrators of relevant facebook groups were contacted to disseminate information about the study.
these recruitment strategies were designed to maximize participation while ensuring informed consent for a study involving a sensitive topic within pakistan's cultural context.
participant demographics and selection criteria
while the research team aimed to recruit a diverse sample across sexual identities and gender, the majority of respondents were mothers.
the inclusion criteria for adolescent participants specified an age range of 13 to 19 years, current cohabitation with parents, experience of same-sex attraction, and a minimum of nine months of attendance at a madrassa. when both parents responded to the participation invitation, the mother was specifically requested to participate.
out of individuals who completed the initial screening, 57 were excluded due to reasons such as age, insufficient madrassa engagement, or lack of willingness to participate from either the teen or their parent.
data collection process
the study involved a two-stage interview process, beginning with parents and then proceeding to the adolescents.
a six-question semi-structured interview guide was employed, allowing for flexibility and the inclusion of pertinent follow-up or clarifying questions. each primary interview question included three discretionary sub-questions designed to elicit detailed and genuine responses about participants' experiences, beliefs, values, and perceptions.
interview questions were crafted to encourage in-depth exploration of participants' lives and interactions, particularly concerning their relationships with partners and significant life issues.
interviews were conducted by two undergraduate students trained in effective and respectful interviewing techniques.
to foster comfort and minimize potential bias related to parent-child dynamics, adolescents were interviewed separately from their parents. all participants received a PKR 1,000 gift as compensation for their time. to ensure privacy and encourage participation from a broader geographical range, interviews were conducted via google meet.
data analysis
after interviews were conducted, recordings were transcribed.
the transcriptions were then de-identified and analyzed using SAS Analytics Pro. the qualitative data analysis followed a six-step thematic analysis process outlined by braun and clarke. these steps included familiarization with the data, generation of initial codes, searching for overarching themes, reviewing and refining themes, defining and naming themes, and finally, producing the research report.
this systematic approach enabled the identification of trends in participants' ontological approaches and the categorization of themes within the collected data.
to ensure inter-rater reliability, accuracy in capturing participants' perspectives, and the overall validity of the investigation, a separate coder, an undergraduate student and university faculty member, oversaw the analysis.
this auditor trained two primary coders - a graduate student and an undergraduate researcher - in qualitative data analysis methods. the auditor provided continuous feedback throughout the coding process to ensure accuracy and adherence to coding policies.
an inductive approach was adopted for data interpretation, allowing themes and patterns to emerge directly from the data without pre-conceived notions.
the analysis of the data also involved examining participant statements through an essentialist lens, prioritizing the participants' understood meanings, factors, and core experiences over researcher interpretation.
to enhance dependability and confirmability, as per nowell et al., detailed descriptions of the research process, participant positionalities, interview frequencies, and significant themes were documented in the report. udy's data processing technique was employed to minimize researcher biases stemming from personal experiences related to gender, sexuality, parent-child relationships, and religion, while still valuing participants' direct accounts.
ensuring rigor and managing bias
the research team acknowledged that while their chosen technique aimed to reduce bias, coders could not entirely eliminate their pre-existing notions.
any emotional reactions to the data based on personal experiences or identities were documented and discussed with auditors before decisions were made. potential conflicts arising from religious differences or prior coder experiences that might influence coding were managed through joint review of transcripts and collaborative analytical remarks by the primary coders.
coders reconvened regularly to identify emerging trends and systematically categorize data, creating a provisional list of themes as the analysis progressed. discussions between reviewers and coders clarified any analytical discrepancies, ensuring precision and reliability.
following the initial coding phase, independent coders and data auditors collaborated to develop overarching and sub-themes pertinent to the parent-child relationships of adolescents.
they identified four key themes and eight sub-themes related to factors that strengthened these relationships, alongside four major themes and eleven sub-themes highlighting challenges that posed risks to them.
key themes and findings
the study identified five concepts related to activities teens engaged in that fostered improved parent-child relationships.
these included:
- engaging in authentic and meaningful dialogues.
- participating in positive informal communications.
- cultivating family relationships and bonds.
- demonstrating compassion towards parents.
- maintaining honesty regarding their sexual identity.
the impact of communication
participants frequently commented on how genuine and intimate conversations between adolescents and their parents significantly enhanced their connection.
a crucial element of these discussions was the freedom to express oneself openly. for instance, one parent shared, "we have an excellent relationship with our son, but we are afraid that islamic society won't accept him." an adolescent named zaid described engaging in a wide range of conversations with their mother, from casual to in-depth.
despite apprehension, many adolescents found creative ways to facilitate communication, such as texting when in-person conversation was difficult, as exemplified by a parent who text-messaged their son to discuss matters.
parents often cited instances where their children sought their counsel as evidence of a strong connection.
one parent stated, "she looks for help to figure out the adult world, and recently i even assisted her in buying her first car. all things considered, i would say our relationship is from good to strong." another parent noted, "we possess a strong connection. he reveals a good deal to me."
many participants also highlighted adolescents' efforts to engage in friendly, casual conversations, often centering on hobbies and interests.
one parent mentioned, "he and i love talking about the economic climate in pakistan. we both truly enjoy it. we talk about his friends. we pass each other goofy memes over text messages."
strengthening family bonds
numerous contributors discussed adolescent actions aimed at enhancing family ties and their positive impact.
one method involved adolescents from muslim families dedicating quality time with their parents. one parent shared how their teenager spending time with them, including going to the mosque together, helped improve their bond.
parents also spoke about how their teenage children demonstrated affection, which further strengthened their relationships.
one parent noted a consistently close relationship, while another mentioned maintaining physical affection and sleeping in the same bed.
the importance of prioritizing family values was also emphasized as a means of reinforcing the parent-child bond.
resilience and forgiveness were also key aspects. one parent expressed pride in their teen's willingness to forgive them, recounting a situation where their child declared their desire to follow a family tradition, even revealing their chosen name and considering familial naming conventions.
many individuals shared instances where their children were supportive as they navigated personal growth and change, with parents expressing gratitude for their adolescent's understanding and patience, particularly regarding adjustments to new pronouns.
navigating acceptance and identity
while parents appreciated their children's understanding, some teens noted initial difficulties their parents faced in adjusting to their identity, although they acknowledged their parents' efforts.
the study found that despite initial challenges in accepting a teen's sexual orientation, it often led to closer relationships, sometimes with unforeseen consequences. one parent shared how their relationship improved after their teen came out, describing a progression from a precarious initial stage to a stronger bond once their child willingly disclosed their sexual identity.
the parent reminisced about mixed emotions, including fear and anxiety, ultimately being overcome by love and appreciation for their child.
another parent expressed joy when their adolescent revealed they were queer, stating, "i wasn't distressed or anything like that; i was more just glad for them to state that they are." the experience of a teen whose parents felt they had been hiding something was also noted.
one parent found dialogue helpful in building a stronger bond, as both parties were learning more about the subject, making it a less uneasy topic for discussion.
a parent shared that after a conversation, their daughter decided not to attend church, indicating that the daughter felt comfortable communicating concerns.
another teen noted that conversations with their son brought several issues to light, strengthening the parent-child relationship and leading to a closer bond between the parents themselves, who identified as members of the church and parents of an lgbt child. discussions ranged from general life aspects to personal experiences that had shaped them.
challenges in communication and relationships
interviewed teens described various communication and connection difficulties that contributed to relationship tension.
one youth explained challenges in maintaining contact with a madrassa teacher after leaving the institution, noting that a gift was sent, and their mother inquired about the sender. another participant recalled sadness when her daughter became unwilling to talk to her, particularly after the daughter had experienced difficult situations and sought to distance herself.
some participants discussed how common adolescent apprehension about discussions hindered their interaction with parents and relationship formation.
one parent advised being mindful of communication styles with teenagers due to their inherent anxieties. a teen expressed that discussions about their sexual identity could be nerve-racking, highlighting the real possibility of experiencing depression, anxiety, and even suicidal thoughts due to rejection.
however, many muslim parents demonstrated significant protection and care, striving to shield their children from discrimination.
some participants experienced loneliness and a feeling of being overlooked despite parental comfort. nearly all parents and teens indicated that genuine and important dialogues fostered a greater bond and solidified their relationships.
participants shared instances of adolescents being open and transparent with their parents to develop closer connections. communication spanned various topics, including politics, social issues, work, academics, and seeking guidance.
remarkably, many participants employed inventive strategies to stay connected, such as texting or writing down topics difficult to express verbally.
regardless of the method, communication perceived as genuine was strongly associated with more significant and connected relationships. research on authenticity in relationships suggests that genuine connections are more fulfilling and better equipped to handle conflict.
the role of authenticity and casual conversation
young people reported increased fulfillment in their bonds with parents through genuine and relevant conversations, indicating a level of approval and closeness.
parental perception of teen sincerity was seen as beneficial, implying loyalty, pleasure, and dedication. conversations between parents and teens could cover a wide range of subjects, from television shows and job searches to religion, politics, and self-worth issues. it was noted that conversations did not necessarily need to be profound to benefit the parent-child relationship.
parents gained deeper insights into their teens' thoughts and were able to express themselves more openly in challenging discussions.
expressing appreciation for instances where adolescents teased them, discussed favorite movies or tv programs, or shared anecdotes from their day was particularly significant, given the general discourse surrounding parent-teen communication. as teenagers naturally seek independence, the frequency of discussing difficult or personal topics with parents may decrease.
study findings indicated that parents and adolescents commonly experienced communication difficulties and resulting relationship tension.
parents were encouraged to recognize that even casual conversations about everyday topics can help cultivate their connection with their teenagers. participants suggested that adolescents' efforts to foster familial ties through expressions of love or spending time with parents created closer bonds.
research consistently highlights the importance of quality time in forming parent-child relationships, with parents spending more time with adolescents generally leading to stronger bonds due to increased opportunities for meaningful interaction and emotional support.
expressions of love and shared experiences
the positive effects of expressing affection have been well-documented, with verbal affirmations and physical gestures like hugging associated with closer relationships, increased satisfaction, and secure attachment.
however, studies often focus on parental contributions, with less attention given to teenagers' efforts to bond with parents through love and shared time. the study provided a nuanced view of these dynamics within the specific context of bannu, pakistan.